Tuesday, May 06, 2008

My recent hospitalization

All the doctors could determine so far was that my having taken so many anti-biotics for the various sicknesses I have had caused the good bacteria in my body to start dying off (anti-biotics kill bacteria good and bad it seems).

So Saturday I got stomach cramps after going to a "pirate themed restaurant" with friends (damn you pirates!!!). The next day at about 2:00pm I got harder cramps and started having ... ummm... troubles "back there". Then I started throwing up. Then I kept on doing both until 9:00pm until I had nothing left to exit my body.

So Jen took me to Memorial hospital where we waited 2 hours in the emergency room (should be called the "eff-you we'll get to you when we bloody well want to room") and then another 45 minutes until they got an I.V. in me.

Then they start with the tests, a C.A.T. scan, and more tests. I got admitted to a real hospital bed about 5:00am. Jen and I were so tired. I finally started feeling better at 2:00pm the next day and then REALLY better at 4:30pm. They finally released me at 6:30pm.

I still have diarrhea but it's nowhere near as bad as it was (exiting every 10 minutes).

Some things I learned:

* When taking anti-biotics for illnesses, take them with yogurt. The good cultures will help keep your tummy from taking too bad a hit from the anti-biotics.

* When visiting the emergency room, people will ask you "what is wrong". Faint at the desk or really exaggerate your problem. They may admit you quicker, but it might (might) help if you had an un-attached limb. This will not be a problem because you will be asked "what is wrong" by 10 more nurses and doctors who cannot read charts and you can give them real answers then.

* Or, have the ambulance come get you. It seems that people who arrive via ambulance get "special privalleges" even if it's not severe. Heart attack? Ambulance. Disemboweled? Ambulance. Splinter? Ambulance. (That last one... not even fuc*ing kidding you. The kid got in AFTER me via ambulance and was admitted BEFORE me for a fuc*ing splinter!)

* The nurses do everything. EVERYTHING.

*The doctors do nothing but come into the room and say "Hello, I'm a doctor... AH! And I see you have the machine that goes 'ping'!"

* Order room service two hours before you're hungry because that's how long it will take to get INTO your room after the cafeteria people deliver it outside the door and the nurses give a damn enough to bring it in.

* In fact, make plans that anything that happens will happen 2 hours after you request it. Stool collection, food delivery, more blankets, pain medication, pillows...

* Or, you can try to go to sleep. They swarm upon you like locusts if you try to go to sleep.

* Don't ask the nurses for anything... they will ignore you if you ask for too much.

* Don't go to Memorial Hospital. Ever. EVER! EV-FUC*ING-ER


Mike Ruch said...

1. Tell us how you really feel Justin, you know it's holding those feelings back that causes the stomach pains ;)

2. Kids always get the first priority in the emergency room, it's a fact. There is no worse press than the kid having to wait while someone else gets priority.

3. Hope you are feeling better.

4. So the Pirate food made you go "Arrrgh!!!!" :-)

Anonymous said...

My biggest problem was that I told them when we got there, "He's dehydrated, he needs an IV." An hour later when I asked what was taking so long, I was told they didn't have a bed for him. He didn't need a bed necessarily, he needed an IV!
Then when I asked the nurse when I'd be able to take him home, she said "Well we're thinking of keeping him another night." When I asked her why she said, "Because he's still tired." He can sleep at home Sherlock!
I often tell people the reason I stopped studying nursing is because I'm too clumsy. I was reminded yesterday of the other reason: I couldn't put up with the B.S.

Derek Knight said...

I had the EXACT SAME THING happen to me about a year ago. Not at all pleasant. I didn't go to the hospital, though, I looked up my symptoms on Web MD and then laid on the couch, waiting to die. Well, except for the times I was in the bathroom, waiting to die. To make matters worse, when the symptoms first hit and before I could look it up on the interweb, I took another antibiotic. Now I know: one round, two maximum. After that, just suffer through it. The alternative, as you well know now, is not at all worth it.

Ed said...

Oh my god! I had no idea that place nearly killed you. Here I was complaining that my chicken was too done - now I now better. I'm glad you are feeling better (at least well nough to vent). Could not agree with you more about your hospital experiance, they tend to be awful, awful places.

Another lesson learned that night -Never trust a restaurant that combins a caribbean theme with solid German dishes...

squatchyk said...

I have heard bad things about Memorial that is why I had my baby at Penrose Community. Sorry you were sick that totally sucks. I read somewhere if you just let the illness run its course it will be gone in 10 days. I tried it and my illness cleared up in the same amount of time it would have taken with antibiotics.

Heather said...

Memorial sucks! My aunt had surgery there a couple months ago and was left for an hour on the toilet after she'd had part of her foot amputated and couldn't get up without assistance. They also seemed to always forget her food. I'm sooo sorry you were sick and that you had to go through all that crap!!!!