Monday, February 20, 2006

Rejected... 5 to 1

(sigh) But the good thing is that they (the VOID Council) said that with a little work I could get in easilly. So, i'm re-doing the character and making some changes. As I am doing so I am seeing the problems they had with him... so perhaps this time i'll get in. He should be ready for upload to their site by tomorrow evening.

Their email to me:
Dear noriaki_kakyouin,

You've been declined for the reasons listed below, but you can update your poses or submit an entirely new Fighter at any time.

Zato-2TWO » The story itself has a very interesting premise, and there is plenty of room here for a healthy development. I only wish you did a bit more with his character design to make him seem more interesting; granted, he's not supposed to be anything special, but the lack of defining features makes him look blank and incomplete (especially in his face). It's like, there's the framework for a character here with nothing on it. I'm also a bit uneasy about his name. Why is he called T-Square aside from the obvious gag ? I'm sure he should have a real name, and frankly I'd be able to relate to this character a little better if he had a name to call himself instead of just having a blank slate for a head/face and a nickname instead of a name. On a more technical note, I'd have to decline you for your win/lose poses, they just look unfinished. I recommend you ink them or at least photoshop them up to make them look presentable. Your intro story is pretty decent, and unlike most entries you do show a bit of understanding of space and environments, but I can't help feeling uneasy about the lack of backgrounds you have for a lot of panels. I'd also suggest you be a bit more daring with your camera angles, most of them you have are rather static.

I vote decline, but if you polish this guy up and REALLY work to make your intro story pop, you can definately get in.

Wei Ingnan » More polish.....try and re-work and obviously have the ability..... both the design and the intro seem kinda dull....put some zing into the character design and the intro

DECLINE for now

Hiemie » I also agree on the design being dull. Although he is very identifiable looking at him (Even with the influx of noseless guys....), His clothes aren't anything special. The oriental shirt seems forced.

I love your writing. I have a great sense of dialouge from what I can see, just of a sense of feeling natural.

Everything looks very rough though. If you want hard lines, I would reccomend pen over pencil.

Decline for now, but I could see you getting in with more effort.

» I am not as hung up on the appearance of your character as the other guys were. However I have to agree with them about the penciling - everything but the design sheet look painfully hurried which is really a stark contrast against your wonderful story telling prowess.

However, you've met the submission requirements, and you've put some real effort in to the Introduction Story (comic). I don't see anything here that couldn't be worked out through a few battles.

I vote Accept However: please do try to tighten up your penciling, or try to ink instead.

» Im gonna have to say Decline also, but you could get in VERY easily. You sort of set a standard with your design sheets quality, and never met it again, making all the rest of your pages look kinda rushed.... and rushed is bad. The story is very good, and the way you tell it is very good also. This just needs to be polished up so we have nothing but your best efforts here, and you'd be in just like that.

Decline for now, but this could very easily be made into an acceptable entry.

Toast » This is a bit tough, but I think I'm going to go with a decline as well...

Let me first start by saying I love your design sheet. It's clean, clear, and shows us everything we need. Unfortunately, the rest of the submission isn't the same level of cleanliness, and that hurts you because we know you're capable of better. I'm not saying you have to color everything, but for the Win and Lose Poses, I would like to see them cleaned up to the same level as the Design Sheet as been. Sketch lines and phantom erasures are still visible in some areas.

The Intro has the same cleanliness issue, though to a lesser degree. My main problem there is backgrounds. Half of your panels have gray fill or two-tone gray fills for a background. Your ability leaps off the page, but I'm not seeing it in your backgrounds. Panel layout and pacing are good, so I've got no problems there. And it's especially evident in the Intro that you can show emotion though body language and facial expressions, and that's a fantastic skill.

Some of the others have complained about the name or design, but I honestly don't care about either. I wouldn't hold you back for something like that. I think the simplicity of his design is the POINT and the name I assumed was something he took up upon arrival in VOID, but I could always be wrong.

I feel bad about doing this because it's obvious you've got the talent to get in, but I'd like to see you push just a little harder.