Boot to the head

MAN! I did not get any sleep whatsoever last night. I woke up multiple times and just could not fall back to sleep. Why, you may ask? Well... those damn dogs of mine.

Yup. My wonderful wife asked me if the puppies (one corgi and one pomeranian) could sleep in our bed.

So I wake up multiple times with the dogs smacking their F&%$*G lips, breathing in my face, and pushing me off the edge of the bed. So at 3:30am I could no longer take it and shout "THAT'S IT!", in turn waking the wife. She beggs me (half asleep still) not to throw the dog. Our corgi is a wiggly mass of 35 lbs... I couldn't throw him if I wanted to, but I set him down off of the bed softly nontheless. AH! ROOM AT LAST.

15 seconds later from the space just by my side of the bed:(lip smack)(lip smack)(lip smack)(lick)(lick)(lip smack)(lick) AGH! I threw my foot off the bed to startle the dog and once again got my mostly asleep wife telling me... "no... no violence...". This from the woman who hits me when I tease her. HARD! She hits me hard! And she tries to bite me. Not last night, but normally. For some reason she has a problem with my nose and wants to bite it off... so this morning she tells me "no violence". Yeah right. No violence when it comes to the dogs, but it's fine to pummel me within an inch of my life.

So here I am at work (got here at 4:30am) because the damn dogs can't shut their mouths and go to sleep. No, they need to re-taste that peanut-butter or cat-poop they had last night (yum yum yummy yum). Never again will they be on the bed. The foot has spoken!